Most people never get to meet the person they look up to the most…I was fortunate enough to be raised by mine.
Mama, you are without a doubt the most incredible person I know. I know that mothers are supposed to do for their children. Expected to sacrifice everything for them…You have always done it with a servant’s heart in a way that trying to put it into words feels impossible. As you’ve transitioned from Mama of three, to LaLa of ten, you are still steadfastly selfless.
I used to wonder why you rarely ever sat down to watch movies with us girls on the weekends. Occasionally you would bring the laundry basket and join us on the couch while you folded, but for the most part you could always be found rushing around in the kitchen cooking and baking, or doing all the necessary things it takes to keep a house full of family running. I understand that well now.
It’s a little bit heartbreaking that we seldom get to see and appreciate our Mamas at their finest moments in the prime of their lives….sure I saw you, but I was much too young to truly SEE and understand exactly what I was witnessing. I’d say I took it for granted, but honestly, I think sadly it’s a normal part of childhood that we girls don’t grasp how amazing our Mamas are until we look back through the lens of experience and become Mamas ourselves.
I want you to know I see it now. And I’m so very thankful. For a Mama that always put her family first. For putting up with my selfishness that comes with the territory of the teen years. For always placing my needs(and my wants) ahead of your own. For more clothes when the ones I had were more than plenty. For loving me regardless of my mistakes, and when I was most unlovable. For exemplifying a loving and godly wife.
I honestly don’t remember asking for a lot of “things” when I was growing up. But I know there were many times I would ask for money to go eat with my friends or go to a movie, and you would give it to me. It never occurred to me in the moment that it meant you were giving up something you wanted for yourself so that I could have something I wanted.
In adulthood it’s been no different. You answer my phone calls with the same enthusiasm the 6th time of the day as you do the first. You listen patiently to my fears and worries as I try to raise my own children. Sometimes you just listen and that’s enough. Sometimes I beg you to tell me what to do, knowing full well in the end I am own my own. Just like you were with me.
We’ve come full circle now haven’t we? Me, the inexperienced young mama. And you, the seasoned professional. Standing by, watching. Not wanting to overstep or interject as I try to find my own way as a Mama. In this season of life my appreciation for you only grows as I see that you did all the same things for me as I’m doing for my babies.
I don’t know exactly what it is that makes the words and hugs of a mother so comforting. I just know that you never fail to make me feel calm and reassured. No matter what.
Being your daughter is an honor and a blessing that I could never be worthy of. I hope and pray that one day all four of my children will look at me and feel the same love, respect and admiration I feel towards you. No matter how busy life gets, I will always make room for you. No matter how old I get, I will always need you.