Marriage is certainly not what I thought it would be when I was younger. I think I always pictured a Disney style fairy tale. I am a romantic after all.
Let me preface this post by saying my marriage is far from faultless. It’s not the perfect and magical relationship I visualized. Great, happy marriages don’t just happen. In order for a strong and healthy christian marriage to develop, there has to be guidance from God. A threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12
On October 9th, 2010 we committed to “for better or for worse.” I don’t really think we comprehended what we were saying exactly. We couldn’t foresee the things we’d face. The grievous times that would inevitably come…
I know I’ve praised my husband in my blogs before, but the truth is, I could never praise him enough. Trust me from experience single ladies….hold out for a good godly man. One like mine that will still love you at your most unloveable. When you’re stupid. One who’s willing to fight with you for your marriage.
God doesn’t want us to get married, then just give up on each other. Just like he doesn’t give up on us. Marriage can be tough. Don’t let anybody tell you it’s always easy. Because it’s not. But gosh is it worth it.
Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
I’ve thought a lot over the last few weeks about wanting to make sure I’m preparing my son and three girls for what God desires a marriage to be. What He biblically intended it to be. And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. Genesis 2:18. Please hear me young girls, (and even older ones). Love is not just a feeling. It’s a commitment. A daily choice. When you find the one God has picked out for you, that choice comes much easier.
When you’re dating, don’t be afraid that adhering to christian principles will put a damper on the romance. On the contrary, holding fast to those values will most likely deepen the relationship, as a connection with God encompasses a real bond with your partner.
Experience is the best teacher. That’s just how it goes. So make sure you find someone who is willing to crawl into the trenches with you and dig in when times are unfavorable. Genuinely loving someone and having a joyful marriage is a lot of things. And it’s not the cliche stuff I envisioned. Jess has reaffirmed our relationship to me in many ways over the years. Below are some of the ways that I hold closest to my heart.
For Better or Worse…
It’s putting God first and your spouse second. Every day. On repeat.
It’s encouraging each other to do the things you love.
It’s asking your friends to pray for you. Genuinely caring for your soul.
It’s praying together. Regularly.
It’s holding your hand and stroking your hair till 3am while you go through a miscarriage.
It’s leaving notes in your car for you to find because he knows my love language is words.
It’s laughing together. Not always taking life so seriously.
It’s going through awful and unimaginable hardness together, and loving each other more despite it.
It’s tag teaming bath time.
It’s helping you take your first shower after your c-section.
It’s forgiving the unforgivable.
It’s selflessly serving and going out of your way for each other.
Its choosing to love each other. Every day. Through the good, the bad, and the really ugly.
It’s pretty unreal how God set it all up. Growing together and going through EVERY season of change with this one person. I wouldn’t want it any other way and I’m so thankful God created it this way.
Single ladies, look for a Jess Clark. He’s pretty much amazing. For better or for worse.